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(0:01 - 2:46)
Welcome to Episode 28, When Stability Keeps You Stuck. If your inner critic loves to negotiate you back into the safe box, today's for you. We're talking about the quiet habit of overvaluing stability and how it can block the changes you already know you should make.
Here's the big idea. There's a difference between certainty and stability. Certainty says, I must know exactly how this turns out.
Stability says, even with unknowns, I can feel safe, grounded, and supported. We want stability. It's normal.
But when it becomes our top value every day, month after month, we stop asking what would actually fulfill me. We trade aliveness for predictability. And that's when years drift by.
So, if you're one of the women who struggles with stability at all costs, I'm glad you're here. Because today, we're talking about that. Welcome to Goals and Grace, where ambitious women align bold dreams with unshakable faith.
I'm Rev. Dr. Juliet Spencer, certified high-performance coach, and your guide to clarity amid chaos. Each episode delivers one practical framework, plus faith truth to cut overwhelm, claim calling, and crush imposter syndrome. Ready to lead with love, not depletion? Let's go! I've coached so many people in this exact situation.
They say, I'm thinking about changing jobs, setting new boundaries, shifting our family rhythm. But I haven't yet. They're not cowards.
They're just overvaluing stability. Short-term calm became a long-term strategy. And when that happens, you wake up in a life you didn't consciously design.
And that's not your fault. But it is your responsibility. It makes me think of Abram, or Abraham, in Genesis chapter 12.
God says to Abram, go to the land that I will show you. And I always pause there, because that's it. No map, no five-step plan, no timeline.
Just go. Now, Abram had a stable life, a home, a rhythm, a known world. And God invites him to leave all of it, without giving him any certainty about what will come next.
(2:46 - 7:00)
That's the kind of tension that we're talking about today. Abram didn't have certainty, but he wasn't ungrounded. He had something deeper.
He had trust. He had relationship with God. And he had a sense of calling that was stronger than his need to control the outcome.
Think about that for a minute. He had a sense of calling that was stronger than his need to control the outcome. And that's the shift.
Because stability, in the way we're talking about it right now, isn't about having every detail figured out. It's about being anchored enough in God, in your identity, in your purpose, in your vision, your calling, and in the people around you, that you can take a step even when the path isn't fully clear. Abram didn't wait until it all made sense.
He moved while it was still unfolding. And for me, that was one of the most difficult challenges and the biggest hurdle I had to overcome. Go ahead and launch the podcast before you have every episode for the next three years planned out.
Go ahead and promote that you're going to do the podcast when you haven't actually recorded episode 1 yet. All of those things were hurdles until I recognized that you go ahead and start the move even before you have it all figured out. I wonder how many of us are waiting for a level of certainty that God never promised, when what God actually is offering is presence, guidance, and just enough light for the next step.
So what do we do? Well, there are three moves. First, name the frame. When a decision pops up, ask, am I choosing this for stability or for fulfillment? There's no judgment.
Just name it. If stability is leading you every time, your life will feel smaller than your potential. And I believe you won't fully step into the life you've been called to lead.
Second, build a bridge, not a cliff. I'm a huge fan of the side bridge approach. Before you leap, put a small measurable proof that the new direction is viable.
Maybe it's a 20 to 30% pilot of time or output, a boundary you honor for two weeks, or a test project that gives you real data. For me, it was the reassurance and talking to various friends and sharing with them the idea of the podcast, getting their input, recognizing that I had already been given the skills I needed. It was just starting a new adventure.
Once I could recognize that the hindrance was my love of stability, I decided to take the leap and trust that God would show me the way. Building that little bridge satisfies your nervous system's need for safety while you move towards something more meaningful. And step three, shift identity before action.
If you've been the stabilizer for everyone, you've probably made decisions to keep the peace, but not to expand your potential. So, claim who you'll be right now. Be present, courageous, and faith-led.
And let that identity guide the next visible step. Present, courageous, and faith-led. Let's make it real for the day right in front of you.
Picture the change you've been delaying. Maybe it's a new offer in your business, or a boundary with a colleague, a family routine reset. Notice right away if there's an inner critic.
(7:00 - 11:04)
And that inner critic sounds probably something like, what if it fails? What if it's messy? Treat that inner critic voice like a dashboard light. It's a signal, not a sentence. So, breathe and then ask, what's the smallest step that honors fulfillment without blowing up stability? Maybe it's a 15-minute planning block on your calendar today, or maybe it's one courageous email.
Maybe it's telling the family, we are trying lights out 20 minutes earlier this week. Keep it small, real, and now. Moms, hear my heart.
And today, I'm talking especially to you moms of teens. You're often the stability engine for the whole house. Well, that's beautiful, but it's also heavy.
You can still be the stabilizer and choose fulfillment. The practice is a gentle daily reset. One clear win before noon that bends your life toward the life you truly want.
If you've been postponing a change, make that morning win about the change. Protect a 50-minute focus block. Draft the proposal.
Hit send on the boundary email. That one win starts moving the pendulum. For me, with goals and grace, it was finding help on the name.
A quick story pattern that I see every week. Someone stays in a role, a routine, or a relationship pattern long after it stopped fitting because the predictable paycheck, or schedule, or reaction felt safer than the unknown. But then, they test a bridge step.
The moment they see a sliver of proof, energy returns. Not because everything got easy, but because they honored fulfillment without betraying stability. And that is wisdom in motion.
So, let's lock it in with a 60-second practice. Put your hand on your heart. Inhale and exhale.
And whisper, today, I choose to be present, courageous, and faith-led. Today, I choose to be present, courageous, and faith-led. And then, see the change you've delayed.
Name one tiny move that advances fulfillment and respects stability. Put it on the calendar as soon as you can. When your inner critic protests, and if she's like mine, she probably will, smile and say, signal received.
And then, act anyway, gently. You don't need a perfect plan. You need a practiced reset and one brave step.
Repeat it. Choose your identity. In other words, who do you want to be? Take the bridge step.
Create one win before noon. And that's how you stop overvaluing stability and start living a life that feels like you. And if you're thinking, I sure would be more comfortable making that step if I had somebody to help me, then I hope you'll let me know.
Reach out. I have a few slots open for one-on-one coaching, and a link for the free coaching call is in the show notes. Until next time, my friend, take that one small, stabilizing bridge step to something more fulfilling.
And may God bless you with goals and grace.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
