(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
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There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from living a good life and still feeling like you have to prove you deserve it. But you've worked hard, you've built a career, you've earned people's trust, you've been the person people rely on. Maybe you have a great marriage and a comfortable home, a respected position and opportunities you once prayed for.
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And yet, somewhere underneath all of that is this quiet pressure. Don't mess this up. Keep producing, keep achieving, keep proving, keep being useful.
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Somewhere along the way, you may have started believing that the life you have is only yours as long as you continue to earn it. And let's be honest, that's exhausting. I'm Rev. Dr. Juliet Spencer, the Spirit-Led Strategist, and this is Goals and Grace, the podcast for high-performing Christians who want to pursue meaningful goals without sacrificing their peace, their relationships, or themselves in the process.
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Today, we're going to talk about something high performers are particularly good at. Earning. We know how to work hard.
We know how to deliver, don't we? We know how to exceed expectations. We know how to make ourselves valuable. The problem comes when we start believing that our value depends on our continuing to do all of those things.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with achievement, of course. I love goals, which is why I teach high performance. I mean, hello, my podcast is called Goals and Grace.
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I believe God has given us gifts and abilities that are meant to be developed and used, so this is not an episode about making yourself smaller. It's not about pretending ambition is bad, and it certainly isn't about sitting around waiting for life to happen to you. It's about something much more subtle, but really important.
It's about what happens when achievement stops being something you do and becomes evidence of who you are. Let me say that again for the people in the back. It's about what happens when achievement stops becoming about something you do and becomes evidence of who you are.
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Then, the stakes change. A successful presentation isn't simply a successful presentation. Now, it means, oh, I'm good at what I do.
A new client doesn't simply mean you gained a client. It means I'm still relevant. Someone asking for your advice doesn't simply mean they value your perspective.
It means I still matter. And when achievement becomes evidence of worth, failure becomes evidence too. Suddenly, a mistake isn't, well, that didn't work.
It's, maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. A quiet season isn't, things are slower right now. It's, what am I doing wrong? And rest isn't, my body and soul need restoration.
It's, I'm wasting time. Do you see what happens? Your life becomes one long performance review, and you're the one conducting it. And here's where I think those of us who are Christians have to be particularly careful, because we can take this achievement mindset and baptize it.
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We don't call it proving ourselves. We call it serving. We don't call it overworking.
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We call it faithfulness. We don't say, I need everyone to need me. We say, well, God wants me to be helpful.
And sometimes that's absolutely true. But sometimes, sometimes we're using very spiritual language to justify a pattern that is slowly wearing us out. Jesus said, come to me, all of you who are weary and carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
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In Matthew chapter 11, verse 28. Now, I hope you pay particular attention to what Jesus wasn't saying. He didn't say, come to me, all you who have finally done enough.
He didn't say, come to me when you've proven yourself, or come to me after everybody else has been taken care of. The work's 100% complete, the last person's out of the office, everyone at home has been fed, the dishes are put away, and there isn't one single thing left that you can do. He simply says, come.
And I wonder how many of us are better at believing in grace theologically than actually living as though grace applies to us. As a pastor, this is something I saw with shocking regularity. It's easy to believe we are loved by God.
In fact, most of us do. But then we live as though we need to remain impressive enough to keep that love. Hello? Jesus came so you'd know that you know that you know you are loved.
You cannot earn God's love. If you could, then the power would be with you, and not with God. Not to mention the fact that if you could earn it, why would you need Jesus? I mean, hello people.
God loves you because of the nature of who God is. You are God's creature. You are God's child, and God loves you.
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Does God love everything you do? Probably not. But God's love is faithful because God is faithful. And your love, or God's love for you, is not conditional.
We know that in our minds, and then we spend our lives trying to earn it. That's not grace. That's a performance contract.
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Though, let me just say, I do know people who say, oh, I know Christ's love for me is free, and it's real. I know Jesus thinks I'm awesome. It's everyone else I'm worried about.
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Can we just stop and think about that for a minute? We believe grace is freely given, and the creator of all that is, who put air into your lungs, says you are good enough. But they, whoever they are, won't love you unless... Here's another problem with trying to earn the life you already have. The finish line keeps moving.
Think about something you desperately wanted. Maybe you wanted the degree, then the position, then the promotion, followed by the income, and maybe even your own business. Certainly, then the opportunity to lead.
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And you thought, when I get there, I'll finally feel like I've made it. And then you got there, and for about 15 minutes, it felt fabulous. And then your brain said, okay, what's next? High performers are incredibly talented at turning yesterday's dream into today's minimum expectation.
The thing you once prayed for becomes the thing you barely notice because you're already measuring yourself against the next thing. That's why achievement alone can never give you enough. Achievement is wonderful, but it makes a pretty terrible source of identity.
Because if your worth comes from what you have accomplished, you will always need another accomplishment to prove your worth. I want you to imagine something. Imagine waking up tomorrow and deciding, I don't have to prove anything today.
You can still work hard and pursue the goal. You can still lead the meeting and build your business, write the book, serve the church. You can be as excellent as always, but you're no longer doing any of those things to establish your value for God or anyone else.
You're doing them from your value, and that's a huge difference. One says, I need to accomplish this so I can feel like enough. The other says, I already know who I am.
Now let's see what I can create from here. One is driven by fear and insecurity. The other has room for curiosity.
One says, prove yourself. The other says, use what you've been given. And I believe the second posture is so much closer to grace.
This is also where being a spirit-led strategist matters. Strategy says, what's the wisest next move? But being spirit-led asks another question first. Who am I becoming as I make it? So let's be real.
You can make an incredibly strategic decision from a terrible internal place. For instance, you can say yes because you're afraid people won't value you if you say no. You can work another 12-hour day because, well, slowing down makes you feel insignificant.
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You can volunteer for one more thing because being needed feels suspiciously similar to being loved. The decision that you're making might look productive from the outside, but is it productive on the inside? In other words, you are not alone. Maybe you're still trying to earn something that was never supposed to be earned.
Your worth, your belonging, your right to take up space and to rest, and even to enjoy the life you've worked so hard to build. So here's your spirit-led strategist question for this week. What am I still trying to earn that grace has already given me? And then just sit with that.
What am I still trying to earn that grace has already given me? It might be approval or belonging. For some, it might be the permission to rest. Maybe it's the right to call yourself successful.
Ouch! That's a good one. After I received my doctorate and became Reverend Dr. Juliet Spencer, I continued only to use the reverend. I used it at church.
I used it in print. Only reverend. And my dad pulled me aside one day and said, why don't you say doctor? Why is that nowhere to be found? And I said, well, because I didn't get a doctorate for the title.
I got a doctorate because I had a lapse in my education and I knew I needed to improve. And he looked at me square in the face and said, you're not using doctor because you don't think you deserve it. And what message are you sending your children? Wow.
Talk about an eye opener. So ever since then, I'm Reverend Dr. Juliet Spencer. But I digress.
So maybe for you, it's simply the belief that you are enough when you aren't producing anything for anybody. But whatever it is, when you sit with this, pay attention. Pay attention to what comes up.
The answer might explain some of the exhaustion you've been carrying. For this week's practice, I want you to catch yourself proving. That's it.
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Don't judge it. Don't immediately try to fix it. Just notice it.
When you say yes to something, ask yourself, would I still say yes if I weren't trying to prove anything? When you're tempted to keep working long after you've done enough, ask yourself, what am I afraid it will mean if I stop? And when something doesn't go as planned, notice whether you evaluate the result or yourself, because those two things are totally different. You can be disappointed in a result without being disappointed in who you are. And you can pursue extraordinary goals without requiring those goals to tell you that you're worthy.
My friend, you don't have to become less ambitious to live by grace. I think grace gives us the freedom to be more ambitious and more courageous because once your identity isn't riding on the outcome, you can take bigger risks. You can try something new.
You can give yourself permission to fail, and you can change your mind. You can say no and rest, and you can succeed without immediately asking what you have to accomplish next. And you can enjoy the life you've spent so much time building.
So before we close, I want to pray for you. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. O gracious and loving God, for the person listening who has spent years proving, producing, achieving, serving, and carrying, Lord, help them recognize the difference between using the gifts you've given them and using achievement to pursue their worth.
Remind us that grace is not something we have to earn. Help us to receive the life that is already here. Fill our hearts with enough trust to know that our worth does not rise and fall with today's results.
Teach us to work from love, including love of self, instead of for it. Enable us to serve from belonging instead of for belonging, and to pursue what is next without missing the beautiful gift of what is now. Expand our desire to love you more fully and to see ourselves through your eyes.
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In Jesus' name we pray. Amen. I'm Rev. Dr. Juliet Spencer, the Spirit-Led Strategist, and this is Goals in Grace.
And this week, remember, you don't have to earn the right to enjoy the life you've already been given. Until next time, my friend, may God bless you with goals and grace.
(Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited to remove this message.)
